Summary of key features of my cycles
Here are some key features of my cycles:
- a naked sun stare/thorn hill climb/blue rose vision
two days before new moon, in early Sept., 1991 at age 27.5.
In the sun stare there was a tunneling beyond the sun, I
think into higher dimensions, followed by a descent of
giant "butterfly wings" on me, which I think may have
augmented my form in higher dimensions. I liken this
experience to Jesus's baptism when the heavens opened
and wings descended on him.
- three more waning crescent highs each preceded 5.5 lunar months
before by onset of a waxing gibbous moon trial, and one more high
without such a precursor, all in 1993--1994 (plus another waxing
gibbous moon trial in May 1992 that was extended slightly past full
moon by marijuana use, which I now avoid, plus I avoid
alcohol 1--9 days before full moon and that
has prevented severe waxing gibbous moon problems after
- two early waxing moon trials in early Jan., early Apr., 1995,
not as bad as the waxing gibbous moon ones of 1992 to 1994 though.
These early waxing moon trials were like a waning crescent high
turning sour after new moon but without the waning crescent high.
mystic "live" sparks as opposed to dead normal static ones
low/wilderness/ascetic/foresaken/cremation ground years
beginning in late January 1996 and not over yet
but which I postulate lasted 7 years for past figures but
longer for me since I have had access to medication and
also lifespans are longer on average these days.
During the first
two years this involved
a fairly constant low level of delusion, paranoia, magical conspiracy
theories, and isolationism with stronger flare-ups
during Jan96, May96, Jun96 and Jul97 waxing gibbous moons.
This mostly subsided when my lithium was increased back to
a level of 0.8 in July 1997 and I also again gave up drinking
1--9 days before full moon. But I continued to believe perineum
area muscle click divination and that led to the mildly
delusional eyebrow matchmaking theory (but no paranoia),
and after I gave up on that in early May 1999 (based on
negative evidence and lack of evidence) I resolved to no
longer believe perineum area muscle click divination
(but I still play at it some).
The celtic section and buddhist section of the parallels
subpage have a bit more on seven years stuff and I have some
more related native and shamanic links which are in
the links section.
- each high had an M class solar flare a few days before onset
plus I had a depression in 1986 during the low of the sunspot
cycle and my low years began in early 1996 not long before
the low of the sunspot cycle,
and hence I postulated an 11 year cycle in my mood,
but I now think this is not the case.
Feb. 21, 2013: I am still not out of the low years after 17.06
years, and it could be that I will have to wait until 22 [11+11] years
after my first high, so September 2013, or 18 [7+11] years
after the low years started, so late January 2014. But I
hope the low years will end sooner.
academic star including in religion as a child and teen (but I
have not studied religion formally since the world religions
course in the final year of my Catholic Roncalli high school,
educaton) and since in science (but I am not a carpenter
I am not a religious studies specialist and have done no academic
courses in religious studies since my last year of high
school, and my best subject is mathematics. I was
in school and university a total of 28 years,
primarily focused on science since high school.
inspired, including musically, by a devi type (Sarah McLachlan,
singer/songwriter, head of Lilith Fair, of Vancouver, Canada).
Devi and avatar are Hindu terms but I am not Hindu so
I add the word type, and I as avatar type do not want to
be worshipped and probably Sarah as devi type does not
want to be worshipped. Devi is
a female term and deva is a male term which is confusing since
in English diva is a female term. The similar devi type for
Krishna as avatar type was Radha. But they
were involved, and though Sarah is my main musical
inspirer she is far away and not involved with me, so I have allowed my
romantic thoughts to stray to other women more easily than
if I had any chance with her.
shaktipat (proximity induced kundalini awakening) from a holy
figure, in my case Iyengar yoga teacher
Gioia Irwin, in Jesus's case perhaps
John the Baptist
clear sky lightning inspiration (related to
coincidentally Harry Potter has a lightning scar and is
an orphan like me but is much younger and has glasses
like me though on my web page pictures I may have contacts on
or have taken my glasses off as I did before my sun stare);
also one case
of extremely variable weather including extremely high
winds on one day inspiration (related to
very bad eyesight, now -11 diopters in my left eye and
-10 diopters in my right eye, plus astigmatism
born premature during a storm but put in an incubator
rather than into a box containing wool or hay.
I am a seventh surviving child, but the eight pregnancy of which
one was of two fraternal twins and one was a miscarriage and
another was a set of fraternal twins who died shortly after birth.
stigmata spots at the beginning of 1995
A merging with something sublime,
or it at least made me feel sublime,
and then snapping back into myself (for a while I
called this samadhi but I think samadhi is usually
attained by meditation). The merging occurred as
a sensation of me slipping upwards partly outside
of my body and merging with the something sublime.
Then after a short time I snapped back into my body. I
was standing the entire time.
skullcap pressure sensation, at The Edge bar, which
is now closed
"buddha" belly circles (one smaller, one larger, not
at same time, smaller one lasted much longer)
invisible turban winding/unwinding sensations
sensible (but not solid, sensible by chi hand warming and
tingling in the region) invisible sphere a ways above my head varying
in height and diameter for a while
invisible head circlet with thorn/spark sensation at
the centre, so a crown of thorn I guess, but at
the top of the head not around the third eye level.
invisible forehead tendrils and invisible bum pokes
causing insomnia beginning in Fall 1998 and lasting a few months
but going away when I started olanzapine so if
I had not that may have lasted longer
have learned to not drink 1.0 to 9.0 days before the exact time of
full moon, by unfortunately having 8 strong mixed/psychotic waxing gibbous
moon trials from 1992 to 1997 that were alcohol (or once marijuana)
triggered or greatly worsened. Since July 1997 I have often
drunk a lot during waning moon but this has not triggered
such reality distortion/world gone sour symptoms or
worsened my state when I was already having problems and
in fact I have sometimes posted more lucidly after drinking. 2012:
I now usually limit myself to 2 pints twice a week.
much supposed perineum (the region between but not including
the anus and the genitals) area muscle
click divination and such click (short period mula-bandha?) as
closure (it is a silent click, or muscle jerk, not
an audible click). The click is a alight contraction
of the perineum area muscles combined simultaneously
with a moving together of my upper thigh muscles.
I think the perineum area is the base chakra but others
say the base chakra is at the base of the tailbone, or sacrum area.
involuntarily celibate, except for masturbation, from spring 1986 to now;
had four poor sexual experiences with four women in 1984 and 1986,
have speculated that I am compatible only with bisexual by nature women and
those four women were not bisexual, or that alcohol inhibited my response.
But there are some
women that I am attracted to at a distance much more than other
women, and I have speculated that they are bisexual by nature
regularly and significantly to both genders) but I have only a little
evidence for that yet so I have to assume that they might not be
bisexual. I have also theorized that I am most attracted to bisexual
by nature (who can be bisexual, lesbian, straight or celibate by lifestyle)
women who have had a fair number of orgasms for their age,
including some recently, and am not much attracted to
bisexual by nature women who have had no orgasms. If my four
orientation theory is incorrect then you can remove the
words bisexual by nature in the last sentence.
not a cult leader type, I do not want followers (of me or
anyone) but want people to think for themselves but
that can include recognizing good stuff and echoing it
within themselves but not always blindly following
everything by the same person. For example I might
recognize that some of Stephen Hawking's mathematical
physics is correct within current error bars but that
does not make me a follower of Stephen Hawking, i.e.
I would check the math in each of his statements,
but he would have cracked open the light, or been the
teacher, so to speak, in instances where I do verify
have experienced various uplifting coincidences including
signs from other species, funny number (especially 55,
which is LV in Roman numerals) coincidences, and
stumbling sometimes by random page choice (e.g. thumbing)
on very significant information in books.
significant messages for someones as far as I know of and can
communicate with, in this case at least the human
species on this planet and in near space, and of those some
new component, not just the same old same old since
then there would be no need for a Messenger/focus of
rapid (on historical time scales) change.
significant breakthrough(s) in lore -- for me one such breakthrough is
my showing that some past pagan and non-pagan major religious figures
were similar to one another and were similar to me, and I will
continue to gather backing evidence for that. Another such
breakthrough if it is true would be my four
orientation theory (that there is a fourth orientation
compatible only with bisexuals by nature of the other gender)
and I hope to research whether it is
true or not, and if not if at least the statement that
compatible relationships result in longer lifespans than
incompatible relationships is true. Aside from that I have
brainstormed numerous scientific and entrepreneurial ideas
(along with some word play physics clues) since and including 1991. And also I have come up with some
personal mystical working theories which I will continue to
develop and perhaps relate to science. Also I have through
checking solar cycle data shown that the initial waning crescent
high and subsequent waning crescent highs come during high
to medium years of the 11 year solar cycle and that most if
not all of the highs are preceded two or three days before
by an M class solar flare. Also I theorize that the clear
sky lightning at the onset of some of the highs is a result
of interaction of said solar flare with the ionosphere.
is oppressed and/or ridiculed and/or disbelieved and/or
ignored and/or labelled a lunatic some before being accepted
but sometimes a bit for good reason since there may be
last minute breakthroughs in the drunken weave Home.
Have tried healing of quite a few others and it remains to
be determined whether that has had any effect beyond my
own subjective perception of having brought some people
out of mild depression. Since this is not much dependent
on the perineum area muscle click except for closure
sometimes I trust it a bit more than my matchmaking and
related blind following of the click divination.
2012: I have had little luck doing healing yet, except
perhaps some effect on mental illness including depression,
but I hope that healing components I developed will become
available to those with healer special ability.
Have TRIED to pass on my higher dimensional connections and healing and
some other abilities to many others.
2012: more recently I have tried assisted shaktipat affecting
ordained BSSes (bipolars, schizoaffectives, and schizophrenics)
and some others but it hasn't worked yet, but I expect it might
after I come out of the low years.
I think I can do musical boosting of musicians on stage and
venue "charging", subjectively to my ears and my feeling
within the venue, including sensing of the air,
but this remains to be confirmed
objectively by others
at several stages I have had what I call twiddles, like
slight sensations at various points on my body, I sometimes
call them question mark hooks, which then need to be cleared.
Sometimes they can be cleared by a simple base chakra
area muscle click. More often lately (though they have
slacked off now, which is good since they are annoying)
I have to clear them by visualizing myself as a
subset of all/everything and puffing out my
consciousness a bit (so loose focus and puffing out)
and ending in perineum area muscle click closure and
often a kundalini buzz.
Sometimes though I am seemingly posed a mathematical
problem and have to visualize the solution to get
closure. (These have faded a great deal as of May 13,
2004, and have been gone since I went back on olanzapine
in early 2005.)
for I think a couple of years now (I'll dig out the date later)
I have experienced what I call kundalini buzzes or
shakti buzzes (internal river
rushes of fire, not much if any actually auditory) which began
when they occurred when I was fantasizing about kissing a
woman (not always on the lips). This later was extended to supposed
formation of shakti asociation between woman and one of my deities
by my also thinking of said deity just before and during the
imagined kiss (almost invariably lips) and buzz. Now while I have not much researched the Hindu term
shakti, one tantric site (will insert URL later)
said that it is the bridge between
the human and the divine, and I saw that long after I started
using the term. Also in Hinduism some women are said to
be incarnations of Shakti I think but that is not the same
as say the shakti association between Sarah McLachlan and Gaia
in my personal mystical working theory formulation.
I do not have significant voices in my head, none of my
messages including extinction reel
are derived from voices in my head. However when I strain
to get through to someone remotely I sometimes get low
level almost subliminal but I think fake voices back at
times, and likewise if I have been up very late streaming/babbling
ideas (I guess some meditation would prevent me from overdoing that)
I also get such very low level voices at times but they
do not have significant content and I consider them
fake/spurious and anyway do not get them very much, so
my past psychiatrist considers me bipolar type I instead of
schizoaffective. However it could be that past figures
similar to me without medication may have had slightly
more of that but I still do not think they would have
gotten significant messages that way, and no doubt laboured
over time to come up with their messages after some
inspiration and a fair bit of trial and error and
constraining, and perhaps some in the way described on
extinction reel. And my
past psychiatrist has told me even completely normal people
can get such low level occasional spurious voices
at times if they strain. 2012/2013: not much of such
low level internal voices lately.
I am by nature a night person though I can get up early but
do only if I have to.
2012: I now have high speed Internet, and often post late
but haven't been doing any all-nighters.
I had four bad right knee injuries from summer 1978 to
early 1981 (plus a slight wrench in fall 1985) that
might have left me lame were it not for modern
in summer 1982 at the age of 18 I had my appendix out (the pain started in
one incident in math class earlier and there were two
later incidents, so it was a brewing appendix, and on
the third I had it out, but since all the tests for
appendix proved inconclusive and there was no hardness
on the right side of my tummy and there was pain on
both sides on my tummy they cut me up the middle but
it did turn out to be my appendix). The pain of
the incidents and after the operation was great, as
was a strange rash I had the year before, but both
were less intense in pain than my naked thorn hill climb.
years ago (actually maybe on and off as long as two years
though maybe less, but it has picked up in the last week)
I have done a lot of hair twirling though
my hair is relatively short so I do not have dreadlocks.
But it reminds me of the hair of an African figure (doll/bust)
I saw in a shop window once, not just of dreadlocks.
2012: none of that in years, and little pacing and checking.
I am into word play though the risk of that is that
it can be misinterpreted when I leave it vague/unexplained
to test/challenge the reader. I did more of that at
UBC on the FTE mailing list.
I have a huge number of muses (influences) including many
singer/songwriters and other musicians and some poets
and other writers and some scientists and some activists
and certainly many past religious figures though I need
to read more into such, I have dabbled a bit at reading
their bio notes but not as much at reading their messages
(except for Jesus more since I was educated as a Catholic,
though I am now ex-Catholic but still Jesus influenced)
and poetry (except a bit of Taliesin and Turquoise Bee
and some of Mohammed's stuff is poetry) so far.
Five years before my 1991 sun stare, in 1986, the year I
had a long term low level depression, there was a gathering
of a global scale (of people from around the world
celebrating culture and science and more), Expo 86, in Vancouver. Vancouver, where I was from Sept. 1, 1985 to Dec. 14, 1995,
is 4504 miles (7200 km, so more than the radius of the earth
even to the outer atmosphere I think) from St. John's,
Newfoundland where I am now
(and I grew up in Newfoundland). My longest distance (in terms
of separation between me and the woman or women I
was fantasizing about) and best
orgasm was the night before new moon on Jan. 29, 1995,
when I was in Vancouver and the two women I was
fantasizing about (with self touch) were in New Zealand.
For a while I thought this occurred in early December, 1994
but my e-mail files point to Jan. 29, 1995. Sarah McLachlan was one of those
two women and has toured to many places on the globe
and visited some others (e.g. Cambodia and India)
that she has not yet played concert gigs at, as far
as I know. Also my writing has gone out not
just on this World Wide Web web page but also
on e-mail mailing lists, web forums, and in over 10,000
posts since and including 1991 to Usenet newsgroups distributed
worldwide on the
Internet, and many of those posts went to more than one
group (were crossposts). Also I have shaken hands of people
from many countries and many religions when playing badminton,
and have heard live musicians from many countries, including
Babatunde Olatunji when he was alive (I heard him at the Kitsilano
Neighbourhood House folk festival in Vancouver).
Since the fall of 2003 I have had no trouble
drinking from bottles or with a straw but in drinking from
beer cans or water glasses or pint glasses or beer mugs
I have had some trouble with my tongue not lying flat and
not retracting and it takes
more effort than it should to drink without spilling
some over my shirt. I do not know if that is significant
but it is an unusual change. My past psychiatrist suspects
that it may be due to tardive dyskinesia brought on by
haloperidol use on occasion starting in 1991. Thus I
am now avoiding haloperidol, if I need extra meds I will
take extra olanzapine. If this drinking problem does
not improve, my psychiatrist may refer me to a neurologist.
(He did and the neurologist found nothing plus I was
unable to do the behaviour while with the neurologist.)
It is a problem of jaw and lips and tongue and has since
extended some to eating as well as drinking. I think is
is a tardive oromandibular dystonia but my past psychiatrist
isn't sure about that. (I will see another neurologist
on July 26, 2013.)
Years ago I occasionally had the experience of someone
else looking through my eyes. Then I would raise my
glasses to show them that I have bad eyesight and they
would go away. At no time did they try to control me.
I call those entities glasses someones.
One night I think in 1997 when I was out for a walk
there was a nearly invisible inverted cone with its
point on the top of my head and its axis tilted a
bit to the vertical and precessing about that vertical.
In the cone I saw some nearly invisible flying beings.
I thought at the time that the cone extended to the
stars. I call those flying beings cone someones.
For over a year I had a null orgasm (normal erection and
normal ejaculation but no orgasm). That was not solved
by my coming off olanzapine briefly. It eventually
came back on its own, even while I was on both lithium
and olanzapine. I'll insert the dates of it later.
dragon lines unraveling around my arms and back in early 1996
spark from my sister Anne's left eye to my right eye, in early 1996
In early June 1996 I was paranoid of some family members, but not as much of my sister Anne, but thought her a bit under their sway. As she was going out one day I got her to remove my glasses and look me in the eye, hoping to break the supposed spell. But as I did so, her eyes merged into one eye, like the eye of Isis, at the third eye chakra; as if to say "don't mess with me, I have protection."
At one folk festival I think in the late 90s I could see
coloured auras around people (different colours for
Taliesin (Gwion Bach) had 2, 4 and 5 and some evidence of 1, or an experience like
it, and some evidence of 3 (if the crack of the cauldron is new moon)
and for my other parallels I have evidence so far
only for some of the above, for
example Krishna was described as the butter thief, which I take
to mean waning crescent highs, and fought with demons, which I take to
mean waxing gibbous moon (poison-nippled demon) trial periods.
Also there may be other significant points that I fail to
list above that may be in my old paper and newsgroup,
e-mail, e-mail mailing list, web forum and web page
old drafts or partial drafts, and current web page writing
which I will sort through and extract from later.
Back to the main page
On to my biography/mystic experiences
On to parallels in world religions
On to the section on my deities
On to the science notes
On to the Recent Changes page